My No Tolerance Policy

The first chance I got to enact my no tolerance policy occurred today.  I was at Waterstreet working on my thesis (by the way, I'm still at Waterstreet and should probably still be working on my thesis - but this was so good I had to blog about it now).

Anyway, I was sitting in a comfy chair minding my own buisness, and this young lady comes in and sits across from me on the comfy couch.  She saw that I was reading articles and typing on my computer so she begins small talk and asks if I'm studying for midterms.   I politely respond no I'm working on my thesis.  (Now, bear in mind that I'm a little dehydrated this morning which affects my vocal folds and starting my voice is more difficult - therefore stuttering is much easier - so why I'm drinking coffee and not water I don't know eh, not important).  So, I stuttered on "I" - it was just hard to get my voice going.  

She did a little laugh.  (remember this is the most common negative response I get).  So, I said, "What?".  

"Nothing" she replies looking away sheepishly.  Once her gaze returned to her book she did another little laugh.  

Now, I just want to prove my point to her.  So, I said, "You laughed, I just wonder what's so funny."

"Nothing."  

At this point I almost said, "Well, it looks like your laughing at me because I stuttered in my speech."  I really think I should have...but then again she's still sitting across from me, so I could still say that.  But, I'm taking small steps.  The pre-no-tolerance-policy-Bryan would have let the laugh pass by without a second thought.  At least now I addressed it.  Next time I'll go a little bit further.

So.  It's interesting that the person who mocked my stutter once again perfectly fits the profile.  In contrast, while ordering my coffee I stuttered (once again dehydrated vocal folds - in fact there I was nearly relocated to a whisper).  The cashier was male, and didn't even blink when I stuttered (furthermore, my stutter with him was worse).  Interesting facts about speech disorders and gender roles.

Anyway, I've blogged what I wanted to.  I should get back to my thesis.

The Joy of Stuttering

So, for the first time in a long time someone actually mocked my stutter.  I was at Theresa's Dead Celebrity Party (I was Charles Lindbergh).  So, in response I said, "So what, I stutter, back off."

Which brings me to an interesting point.  Over the past few years I have interacted with many people, some of whom have mocked me because I have a difficult time speaking in a fluid manner.  Generally, the mocking exists as a simple laugh.  In rare cases, like the one last night the individual actually mimics my dysfluency.  In this case it was a t-t-t.  Anyway, the point of this is that the majority of individuals who mock me to my face were young women.  I have no doubt that my age (and possibly gender) influence their likelihood to mock (if I were much older than they I expect they would defer to the culturally expected norm to 'respect your elder', as for my gender, I don't know if I would be mocked more or less if I were female).  

Anyway, I have decided that I am enacting a Zero-Tolerance policy when it comes to people mocking my stutter.  If I am laughed at while ordering coffee (or anything else) I will ask the attendant what is so funny - because apparently what they find funny is synonymous with what I find terribly frustrating.  And asking them what's funny about stuttering may put them in their place, and allows me to be more open about my speech disorder.  And it would give me an opportunity to educate my fellow humans about speech disorders, specifically stuttering. Furthermore, as a future speech-language pathologist it is my responsibility to increase awareness about speech disorders.  The attendants that mock me will hopefully not mock another individual who stutters, thus, making the world a more friendly place for my prospective clients.

Anyway, I'm done ranting now.