In Deep Mourning

My very good friend committed suicide last week. I'm heartbroken. Absolutely devastated. He was the closest thing to a twin I've ever come to. I have to redefine my life now that he is not in it.

I've been thinking a lot about the conversations we had over the course of our friendship. We were both gay, stuttering, speech-language pathologists, who relocated to Seattle from out east, now each pursuing PhDs in stuttering at midwest schools. Some of the more trivial similarities: both our birthdays summed to 19 (2/17, 8/11), both of us moved from states beginning with "M" (Maine, Michigan), neither of us could decide whether Boston or Seattle was our favorite US city. One of the most profound similarities was our background: both raised in Christian homes (his Catholic, mine non-denominational). Both of us struggled to reconcile or faith and our sexuality.

We dealt with this seemingly incongruous dichotomy differently. My friend felt ostracized by the church and felt pushed out, unwanted. I also felt these things (and continue to do so on occasion) but, I continued in the church. However, I adopted a more "liberal" stance. I studied scripture and based on my experience, education, the experience of others, and the fruit of the lives of others who had reconciled their sexuality with their faith I came the conclusion that I worked out my salvation with fear and trembling and I've made the best decision I could. I will be true to myself: I owe myself and the world honesty. I will not pretend to be something I am not. There is nothing more humbling than coming before God and saying, "here I am at your mercy." This is my mantra: as long as I continue in my relationship with God how could he lead me in a direction that is counter to his desire for my life.

There are a lot of things I don't know. There are some things I do not want to think about. There are some things I do not want to know. I don't know why my friend committed suicide. I do not really know what happens after death. But I do know that God is merciful and loving. I know that God's heart breaks for the injustice his Church commits. If my friend had lost hope I believe the Church may have had a role in it. I believe a portion of my friend's blood is on the Church's hands. Because we are gay, they ostracized us, told us we were unwanted, abnormal, deviant, disgusting. They might not do these things personally, but actions speak louder than words. The Church fights dirty when it comes to homosexuality: some stir up their congregation by using hateful language that propagates incorrect and falsely generalized stereotypes. Some fight to take away civil rights of gays rather than to love them. Some fight to criminalize their love when they should be reaching out to them.

If you say hateful things about gay men and women and push them away from God I utterly believe that you are responsible for their salvation. Check your words people. Words matter. Consider mine: I'm done staying silent. I'm now an activist. The lives of others are too important for me not to be.

Fun Times with Mom

So, as some of you know, my mom is nearing the end of her life. One of the saving graces of this wretched time in my life is that my mom has kept her sense of humor. Here is one of my favorite stories:

Mom has had a taste for rice krispie treats. My grandma made her a whole pan. She had one of them, but her voracious family consumed the remainder of the pan. One Sunday morning, while my family was at church, Mom wanted a snack. Having no rice krispies Mom decided she wanted some chocolate no-bake cookies. If you haven't had them, they are little nuggets of heaven: a delicious combination of oatmeal, chocolate, peanut butter and sugar.

Being a good son, I made her some. However, she had some special instructions. "Make sure you hide them really well so the rest of them don't find them." Things were all well and good for a couple days. Mom had a bit of a cookie every now and then. And all was right with the world.

Then Tuesday came. Tuesday night my sister, Beth, walked into the living room eating a delicious piece of heaven. Thinking Mom was sound a sleep, all of us in the room jumped out of our skin when we heard her shrill, but surprisingly loud, voice say, "OH NO!!! They found them!!!" Once our heart rates returned to normal we ( I ) cracked up. I found it quite hilarious that the prospect of not getting another cookie elicited such a dramatic response.

In the following days my grandma made Mom another pan of rice krispies. I wrote, "MOM'S" on the plastic wrap over them. Four days later, we still have 2/3 pan.

I love my mom. I will miss my mom.

Dusting off the old Writing Skills

So, my writing hat has sat unadorned for quite a while.  I'm beginning my statement of purpose for applying to the University of Iowa and I'm feeling quite a bit rusty.   It's hard work.  I might share some of it later.  We'll see how it turns out. 

And I have sad news: the perpetual buzz cut is on it's way.  My hair is just too thin on top to justify keeping it as long as I do :( and I'd rather be bald by choice than hanging on by a few wisps. Getting old is no fun.

Other tid bits of information worth knowing:

 - the VA hospital in Seattle is looking for a speech pathologist.  I'm thinking about applying.

 - I'm also thinking about doing some cold calls to area hospitals.  According to the other speech pathologist at work Seattle Children's Hospital has a waiting list for evaluations. So, they may be looking for some per diem speech pathologists. 

 - Justin and Natalie are coming to visit me in October.  I'm very excited.

 - my other stuttering speech pathologist friend has moved to Nebraska to begin his PhD ... I'm all alone again (not really).

 - I'm just waiting for the paperwork to be turned in and processed and then I am a bona fide speech-language pathologist!!!! I'll be a CCC-SLP!!! (no longer CF-SLP)

 - That's about it

Corn Fields, Hamburgers and Universities

So, apparently 2009 has not been my year for faithful blogging.

I am currently sitting in the Eastern Iowa Airport awaiting my flight home attempting to ignore a troupe of rambunctious teenagers heading to Detroit (at least I hope they are going to Detroit because that flight is beginning to board now).

I visited the University of Iowa the past few days. I was impressed with the size of their department and the breadth of knowledge contained within their faculty's education and experience. I was also privy to the data collection process of a few subjects in their stuttering research lab. These included some standardized language and intelligence testing, gathering of kinematic data where the position of the upper lip, lower lip and jaw relative to various reference points around the face. This was similar to the data I analyzed for my thesis; however, there are striking differences as well. These are unimportant. I got to be nerdy: this is all that matters.

In addition to speaking with the researcher that I would be working with should I attend Iowa, I had the opportunity to speak with three PhD candidates and a student about to begin the PhD program in Educational Psychology. I was able to have a great number of my questions answered. And I had a fun time too! I drank so much coffee with the researcher and PhD students. I went bowling with some of the students and their spouses.

Iowa City is nothing to write home about. It reminds me of Kalamazoo: an art-sy large town surrounded by farms. There were things I enjoyed more about Iowa City versus Kalamazoo. The university abuts the downtown portion of the city, so downtown is easily accessible from the university. Speaking of downtown, it is rather small, but has a certain charm to it. There is a rather large pedestiran mall, quite a bit larger than the Kalamazoo Pedestrian Mall. The "Old State Capital" (Iowa City was the original capital of the State of Iowa), is clearly the center of townwith downtown radiating to the east and the west of the capitol building.

On the whole I enjoyed my visit. It reignited my excitment about continuing on in my education. I will be applying for the fall, but may possibly request a deferrment if the starts do not align.

A Little of This, a Little of That

So I haven't posted in a while. Sorry about that.

Anyway - here are some highlights of my life thus far.

- I love living in Seattle. While it does rain frequently, there are days (like today) that completely make up for the fact that it rained ALL LAST WEEK! Today we have blue skies (a few clouds), cool temperature (high 50s, low 60s - I love that temperature). My neighborhood smells like flowers - constantly, my neighborhood library has ivy growing INSIDE the building, the sidewalks are carpeted in hues of pink and white from the amazing supply of tree flowers that have since shed their petals (it's really like snow in a way - but pink snow that's not cold). And finally, even when it's not a glorious day like it is today, the gray skies are rarely a singular shade of gray, but instead the sky is a rainbow of gray (I know - it's rather boring, but I had to try). ooh - yesterday after work, some friends and I drove down to the beach (we really should have walked, but we were beat after work so we drove). While sitting on a drift wood log peering out into the sound we enjoyed a sunset over the Olympic Mountains. It was rather fun.

- I enjoy my job. I don't love it, it's not the amazing-wonderful-best-job-ever I was hoping for. But it's a job that pays well that I enjoy. When I (finally) get my certification we will see what happens. I don't expect I'll leave Seattle, but the possibilities for finding a new job open up substantially. (but, in all honesty, because I am seriously considering pursuing a PhD at either the University of Iowa or Purdue University I may simply stay at my job and pick up some per diem work at a local hospital).

- I'm making friends. Some really good friends, others just acquaintances. But they are fun to share an evening with either way. In fact, some friends (Chris and Katy - they are speech pathologists too) are going to celebrate Katy's 27th birthday this very evening. (btw - I'm dreading my 27th birthday. Then I am officially in my "late 20's" ... how depressing).

All in all, my life is not very exciting. Sunsets on the beach, walking downtown to go to Pike Place Market to buy flowers or fresh fruits - I really need to go to the fish market though). Using my car for transportation to and from work and leaving it sit the rest of the time - love it! But I'm a city boy now. I think I'll have a rough time adjusting to life in suburban American if (when) I move there again. But that's then - this is now. I plan on fully enjoying my urban life until I am forced to leave :)

Three Hours

I'm wondering if other east "coast" transplants to the west coast have this sensation: I feel disconnected from the rest of the world.

It's not that I don't enjoy Seattle. I love Seattle. It's not that I'm lonely. I am making friends. It's not that I need anything. It's just that I feel so far away from the rest of the world. I can talk to my friends in New Zealand who are three hours behind me, tomorrow (as in when I'm talking to them at 9PM on Sunday they are talking to me at 6PM on Monday). I generally take a late lunch, and so when I'm eating lunch Europe is settling down to sleep and the east coast is leaving work and starting to have dinner. I'm not used to feeling so behind schedule. I'm sure I will become accustomed to it. It's just odd to see a time stamp on a presidential speech that is three hours ahead of schedule. It's just odd. I don't think it would be different if I were at the other end of the spectrum (i.e., in New Zealand and having dinner when the rest of the world is waking up.

I'm used to being at the center of the world: that being when Western Europe and the East Coast are awake. I'm not there anymore. and it's a little odd. I miss being just 4-5 hours behind London (depending on Day-Light Savings time). This 7-8 bour buisness is crazy.

OMG - this guy sitting next to me keeps hauking up snot and it's gross. I want him to stop. It's just gross. BLOW YOUR FREAKING NOSE!!!!!!!!

Anyway - it's time for lunch.

When it Rains it Pours

And then the heavens open up and dump a veritable monsoon on top of my head.

Seattle is getting *ahem* more snow. I'm sick of this!

Tonight I was having dinner with some friends. And when I go to leave my friend's house there was a note on my car saying that a rather large vehicle had ran into my car and then subsequently run off without leaving any information. Thankfully, the observers were able to obtain the vehicle's license plate number. Oh JOY! More dealing with insurance companies, and my car is assuredly totaled now. I will *not* be purchasing a nice car. I might even continue to drive my car, broken truck, dented-in rear drivers side door until it falls apart. Ironically, this was the same door that struck the pole way back in January 2004. Great. At this rate it's not worth purchasing a valuable piece of property.

I'm ready for my good luck to start. My bad luck has just about run it's course. Three times over.

I'm Sick of Snow

So, it's been a while.

Sorry.

In my defense I've been getting used to a new city and job. It's a poor excuse, I know, but it's all I've got. And I've written blog posts, I just never had internet access to publish them.

But now I feel as though I'm finally getting the hang of work, and all that jazz. There are some recent developments in my life ... I have a chair and ottoman in my apartment!! And I've made friends.

So the chair I bought at ikea. I will slowly be accumulating furniture from ikea over the next year. The friends I've made through work, mutual friends, meeting people around town, and other such things. The person I hang out with the most is Chris. I met him through the National Stutterers Association. He is also a 26 year old male speech pathologist who recently located to Seattle. Oh, and he stutters too. So - he has fulfilled my need to be nerdy. I get to talk about all sorts of nerdy stuff with him. It's great. He lives in another neighborhood of Seattle (West Seattle) about 8 miles from my house. And he works in a school a bit south of the city. There are Phillip, Will and Hannah I've met through our mutual friend (Phillip's brother) Jacob (aka: Cup). We played Settlers of Catan once, and there was the promise for another round, but so far that hasn't happened yet. Then there are the work friends (I use the word friend loosely, because virtually all of them are middle-aged parents, so we don't hang out a lot). We haven't hung out , but there was a Christmas party, and there will be another Christmas party after Christmas (it was supposed to be on Sunday, but due to the ridiculous amount of snow Seattle has received, it was cancelled). Then there are people around the neighborhood I occasionally hang out with, there's Brian, and Susan, and Susan's roommate (can't remember her name, whoops!). So, that's basically my small friend circle. It will expand. Chris has another speech pathologist friend who he hangs out with a lot. So, Chris and Katy will attempt to replace the camaraderie I had with my grad school friends.

So anyway - speaking about the snow. I had intended to go see a movie tonight up in the University District. And well, let's just say that because of the snow what is normally a 10 minute drive is taking over an hour. I thought I was leaving in plenty of time (5:30 for a 7:00 movie). Well, let's just say when the 5:50 bus finally arrived at the bus stop it was 6:20. I decided against spending the $1.50 for a bus fair that wasn't going to get me there in time, and instead walked to get a coffee and banana bread from Tully's. (Which, by the way, are both delicious).

More about the snow ... every winter my back starts to ache because of all the tension I have while driving in snow. Well - my back and neck are KILLING ME! (I'm going to take a VERY hot shower tonight). I've slid backwards down a hill twice. Once, almost hitting several cars. I was really really stuck on one of them and would have had to leave my car in the middle of the street. But some random people, seeing my plight decided to lend a helping hand and push my car. I've had to abandon my car in different parts of my neighborhood because I can't get it to my apartment. Twice. Right now my car is about 10 blocks uphill from my house. Last night it was 6 blocks downhill.

My land lady said that she has lived in Seattle for 30 years and she doesn't remember ever having this much snow. Seattle (a city of more than 500,000 people) has 27 (yep, twenty-seven) plows. I have yet to see one of those ellusive snow plows. I don't think they exist. And Seattle doesn't use salt on the roads (partially because it rarely snows here and partially because of the damage to the environment it causes). Needless to say: I miss that lovely thing called rock salt.

Some notable things I've seen as a result of the snow include: people sledding down the street. Incidently, the same street those buses were attempting to go down when they collided and almost fell onto the freeway. Speaking of which, as a result of the snow I'm taking another route to the freeway than normal, and so I drive under that spot everyday. It's a little weird seeing a 10 foot section of retaining wall missing. I've seen someone skiing down the street, a woman walking down the street with ski poles (admittedly, I had earlier wished for some), people shoveling a parking lot with a dust pan, a tree brach collapsed (either from wind or snow, don't know) that smashed in a car. Cars that are still covered in snow becaue they can't get out from underneath all the snow. I've seen city buses being pushed up hills by heavy duty tow trucks. And I have seen more people fall on ice then I have in a very long time. I have fallen three times, almost falling like 2789409823745637238765234 times. It's crazy. People who shovel their sidewalks are my BEST friends right now. Imagine walking home from the grocery store with eggs in your bag and seeing the three people before you slip on a particular patch of ice. Thankfully, I made it down with 12 unbroken eggs. Some of the roads are like sheets of ice (half of the roads in my neighborhood, hence, my car 10 blocks away from my house). Some are like pools of slush with some sand mixed in (like the ones by work). And some are like roads with mounds of snow. Imagine driving on a road covered with speed bumps of varying size and shape, and that's what 10th street is like. There are still many many closed roads. Literally, half the roads in my neighborhood are closed due to the ice, there are three ways to get to my apartment, two of them are closed. (well technically just one is closed, but the other is so steep that I'm not willing to try it - it's just not busy enough of a street to bother closing).

Anyway, (just saw a guy with snow shoes on). That's enough blabbering for now. I'll write more often, I promise.

I'm not Dead, I promise!!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while ... over a month!  eek!

Anyway, I thought I would post another life update (side note: I just saw a guy walk past with a Siamese cat perched on his shoulder.  So funny.  I love the odd things you see in big cities).

Ok, so I'm in Seattle.  Currently I'm at a coffee shop looking up how to become an official resident of Washington.  It's great.

So, I'll tell you a little bit about my apartment.  It is just a hop skip and a jump away from downtown Seattle.  I walked from my apartment to Broadway, which has a lot of little shops and coffee houses on it.  Right now I'm at a Tully's at Broadway and Pike (if you wanted to google map it).  From my front window I have a spectacular view of Lake Union, the Aurora Bridge, and the Queen Anne, Fremont and Wallingford neighborhoods.  I'll post pictures soon. 

So, yesterday I hung out with my friend Jacob (also known as "cup").  We went to lunch with a missionary friend of his parents.  Bandou is from Sri Lanka and is traveling the US and Canada telling churches of his work in Sri Lanka and India.  After lunch we went to Cup's house, which is on Anderson Island (the southernmost island in the Puget sound), we went kayaking in a little bay on the island, and I got to meet the majority of his family (to Justin, Natalie and Theresa ... I've met all the Kobernicks except 1 now hahahaha).  Then Cup's mom sent me home with a bag full of fresh veggies from the garden.  It was great!!

Anyway - my coffee is gone and I'm getting hungry, so I think I'll start the walk home to make some lunch. 

Should have brought a coat!!!

That's what I'm thinking right now: I should have brought a coat. Not because it's rainy, but because I'M COLD!!!! Of course, I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm sitting directly beneath an air conditioning vent in the coffee shop I'm in. Which begs the question - why is the air conditioning on anyway - it's only 65 degrees outside!!

Anyway. The skies are still gray and I still don't hate my life from lack of sunlight! (Course, I've never really disliked cloudy days anyway). Today I'm in Seattle's Fremont neighborhood. I walked around Seattle Pacific University for a bit, and right now I'm looking out the window at the Aurora Bridge and as soon as my coffee is gone (approximately 20 minutes) I'll be going to see the Seattle Troll. For those of you who have seen the movie 10 Things I Hate About You, there is a scene where Cameron and Bianca have a conversation while sitting on the troll.

So - enough of this blabbing blitheringly (do you like my atrocious alliteration?) What about the facilities I toured yesterday? Ok, so I toured two facilities yesterday. If I am offered this job I will be half time in each facility. Not altogether a bad deal - they are just about 5 minutes apart. So the first place: Richmond Beach Rehab. Really nice cottage style building, yellow siding, nice big windows. Looks like a fairly new building. There were decorations on the wall, nice carpeting, good wall treatments etc etc etc. Basically - they take care of the building and it shows. The patients were smiling, joking with the support and therapy staff. I met with the rehab director (a physical therapist) any my CFY supervisor. We had a great conversation. They gave me lunch, it was great. (And it's like two blocks from the Puget Sound - so it's really close to the water!) So, there was at least one flaw I can think of: there was a general lack of parking. The second place, Crista (I forget their whole name - it's just referred to as Crista). Anyway. Once again - very nice building. This one looks like a castle. It's crazy. However, the building where I'd be working is not the building that looks like a castle. It's one of the outbuildings. The staff was congenial and fun to interact with. There was a bit of confusion because I was told I was supposed to talk with Deb. Well, there were two Debs, and so the front desk attendant called the wrong Deb and there was a little mix up because she didn't know she was interviewing someone and mass pandemonium. But 5 minutes later we figured everything out and we shared a laugh over it. But fun staff, it's a busy place, which is kinda nice. It's organized in a functional way, the patients were smiling and joking with the staff - so once again, it seems like it would be a good place to work.

So, after the tours I called my recruiter and told her that I would rather work in the Seattle locations. She is 'doing her thing' and should have an offer for me on Friday. We'll see what happens (if the stars align just right so I can work in the Seattle facilities - I guess it may take some finagling because there are two facilities so we'll see what happens). Anyway, I should have an update tomorrow.

Yay!!

SEATTLE!!!!! (and tacoma too)

So, I'm back in Seattle.  Just for the remainder of the week.  It's a little after 6pm local time, and I'm sitting in a coffee shop in Seattle's Queen Anne neighborhood.  Today is a stereotypical Seattle day: overcast and cool.  It's only about 65 degrees.  I am perfectly fine with that (although don't think I'll be wearing the shorts I packed, it's supposed to be in the high 60's/low 70's all week).  

So, I made some noteworthy observations today ... 

1) northwest MI and Northeast WI really look like they do on the map.  We flew over Lake Michigan and I was able to see the Grand Traverse Bay, the Sleeping Bear Dunes, and both Beaver Islands, and then opposite that - Green Bay as well.  So - that's that.

2) *Warning - nerd moment* Then on the plane over I was able to sit behind and kitty-corner to another stutterer.  I would have liked to have talked with him, but the flight was entirely too full to manage switching seats and all that.  Anyway, I enjoyed eaves dropping on the conversation he was having with his seat buddy and more importantly the stewardess.  So, the stutterer, we'll call him Henry, was talking with his single serving friend (thank you Fight Club)  and they were having a nice little chat.  I would call Henry a moderate stutterer (to add context I'm a mild stutterer).  And Henry was doing a great job stuttering - I was impressed with the manner in which he stuttered openly and easily - not the point.  Henry's single serving friend was congenial and unobtrusive - the perfect conversation partner.  The stewardess, however, was not.  SHE NEVER LOOKED AT HIM WHEN HE TALKED TO HER!!  By contrast, she and Henry's single serving friend made eye contact and all that jazz.  I was a little annoyed by her.  Anyway.   *nerd moment over*

3) My first impression of Tacoma - holy hills!  The city is one big hill.  Literally.  

4) The facility I toured (in Tacoma) this afternoon was just about what I was expecting but less than I was hoping for (I was hoping for the impossible, just so we're all aware).  It is a mix of short term stay and long-term care.  Fairly typical, my caseload would probably not be that exciting, strokes, general debility, etc. The facility itself was not amazing, but it was acceptable.  I was disappointed with their selection of therapy materials and testing supplies.  That is something we would need to rectify.  It would also be nice to have a MBS suite in house (but I was spoiled with that at Southwest, so I shouldn't expect every rehab facility to have one).  I think I could work there.  I would like a bigger facility (more therapists) but it could work. 

5) I like Seattle - even on the stereotypical cloudy days.

That's about it for now .... I'll have more later, I'm sure.

Happy Birthday to Bryan

Hey! I'm 26! Virtually as old as the Dead Sea Scrolls, I know I know - shut it!

Anyway, I got an absolutely fabulous birthday present today ... I've been working with a staffing company in the Northwest Region (Infinity Rehab), anyway. For a while there were not any speech openings in Seattle (where I would love to be living); however, they do have positions in Tacoma. So - we had been exploring the possibility of working/living in Tacoma. Anyway. I had a phone interview with the therapy director (a COTA - for those of you who care), and had a great interview - later I was told that I had "aced" the interview. Anyway - not the point. The point is that while following up with the Washington recruiter, she told me that a position in Seattle had just opened up! So, she began telling me about it. And it sounds like it could be pretty cool. The only thing is - that after thinking about living in Tacoma I had kinda become attached to the idea of living in Tacoma. (such is life, eh). So, the recruiter said it would be perfect if I could come visit each place and choose the better of the two for me.

So, there will probably be another trip out to the great Northwest in the near future (but not 'till the end of August / beginning of September). I might get to live in Seattle after all!! I LOVE Seattle - it says to me: "Bryan, I am your home."

So, other than that the only other news to report is - that I had a great time eating sushi with grad school friends. We all got different rolls and shared it was delicious. I got the spider roll (soft shell crab, asparagus, avocado and egg cake - delicious). Then we went out for ice cream afterwards (at Plum Crazzy). I got the peanut butter fudge ice cream (surprise, he got something with peanut butter in it!?!?).

Anyway, I'm at fourth coast (another coffee shop in town, but this one's not smoke free) and my eyes are burning. I'm here because it has internet (my house has no internet for the time being) and it was close to where I was (my car was at the library). But in an effort to save my eyes, lungs, larynx and clothes I'm going to shut up and leave this place. Ok ... bye.

Kwame

So - this whole deal is getting to the point of being beyond ridiculous. For those of you who might not know (obviously you either don't live in Michigan or you've had your head in the ground for the past 6 months) but, the illustrious city of Detroit has a mayor (Kwame Kilpatrick) who has been indicted with many felony charges which include (but are not limited to) perjury, and most recently assault. All of this over some text messages which indicate that he lied about having an affair with his top aide during a whistle-blower trial.

Granted, the real issue *may* not be about the affair, but instead about the fact that several police officers lost their jobs because they uncovered the affair. But honestly - this has gone far enough. It has been blown COMPLETELY out of proportion. Previous to this incident, Detroit's image was already marred due to the sagging economy, failing automotive industry, the stereotype of rampant crime throughout the city and it's pattern of urban sprawl. Does it really need another blemish on it's already scar-encrusted face? And if the simple fact that the mayor and the city officials are in a heated hissy-fit wasn't enough, we now have the attorney general heaping on more felony charges. THIS IS NOT SOLVING ANYTHING!

Kwame needs to step down, and the city and state officials need to stop making such a big fuss! This brouhaha is not helpful for either the city of Detroit nor the state of Michigan. We are fighting enough battles that are out of our control - the failing state economy, the tanking federal economy, the failure of the auto industry, the abysmal performance of some public schools. We need not fight amongst ourselves, but instead work together to promote and rebuild Michigan and Detroit. Michigan has a lot to offer, Detroit could be a shining beacon of Michigan and the country - let us stop stabbing each other in the back and work together.

Ok - I'm done with my political rant for the month.

In other news ...

I had a phone interview with a VA Hospital in Long Beach, CA (did I mention that, I don't remember). And I'm going to be talking with a long-term care facility in Tacoma, WA. I also had a phone interview with a private practice in Arizona ... I'm not sure this is exactly what I'm looking for (but the salary is really nice). So - there are options available to me. I just have to decide which one. The best job is the VA hospital in Long Beach, CA. I am hopeful for that job.

Time will tell.

Jobs Jobs Jobs

So - I've got some leads.

I've requested more information about a job in Tacoma, Washington (about 45 mins south of Seattle). Tacoma is not as big as Seattle, but there's still about 200,000 people there, so it's not a minuscule city. I've heard it's got a smell to it, but I've never been there, so I can't vouch.

I also had a phone interview with the Long Beach, CA Veteran's Affairs Hospital. This would be a really good job. It's not exactly where I would want to be in the VA system, but it's a foot in the door. Long Beach is bigger than I expected - 400,000 people. So - that's a nice surprise. And it's much more affordable than the SF bay area, and it's in Los Angeles County and not the insanely over priced Orange County. We'll see what happens.

I'm still waiting to hear from some places I submitted applications (i.e., Seattle Children's Hospital, Indiana Rehabilitation Hospital, etc) ... so hopefully I'll get more leads soon!!

I Hate Murphy and his Law

So, I'm still waiting on the job situation.  No real updates.  I did hear back from the private practice in Seattle.  They said that now they will not know until the end of August (because the lady who is leaving pushed her leave date back to the end of September).  Now this says a couple things to me: 1 - I'm not exactly what they're looking for (if I was then there wouldn't be a need to wait until the end of August), 2 - I'm not what they are not looking for (if that were true then they would just tell me that they decided to go with someone else).  

So, I have essentially begun my job search again.  I've contacted a couple contract companies, but if they do not have what I'm looking for I'm not going to mess with them.  And I've also begun expanding my job search outside of the pacific northwest region; however, my own personal rule for applying for jobs outside of Seattle is that they must be really good jobs where I would see a lot of interesting cases.  So, I'm applying to a lot of hospitals.  There was on in Indianapolis, two in Washington DC, a bunch in southern California (smog, yuck!), and one in Seattle (this is a great job in a great place - too good to be true, so Murphy's Law will take effect and I wont get this one, I'm not be pessimistic, just realistic).

So, time will tell.  I'll keep you posted.

The Awaited, Long Over-due Update of Bryan's Life

Ok ... so I've made a decision.

I still have not heard from all of the places I interviewed at (the one remaining is the private practice in Seattle).  Anyway.  Nevertheless, I have made a decision.  But before I get to that you all need some context.

First, it looks like California is going to be a bust.  Although I got an offer at the autism clinic I am not going to accept it because I have fundamental problems with their ideational philosophy of therapy.  Basically - they believe that by shaping simple behavior with small reinforcers (candy, verbal praise) they can shape complex behavior and ultimately cognition.  I think that the human brain is much more complex and what is really going on is they are shaping the students to be ... well, well-trained.  So, I do not think that I should go there.  Then, the hospital in San Mateo went with another candidate.  And finally, I withdrew my application at the third place (long story - basically they didn't want to hire me because of my stutter [illegal, I know, but if this is how they're going to be I don't want to work for them anyway, so there's no point in pursuing legal action].  There's a lot more to the story, maybe I'll recount it in a later entry).  So - that sums up California.  California = bust.  Which - that's sad because I really liked the weather.

So, in Seattle.  I have an offer at the public school system and I'm waiting to hear from the private practice.  The school system might work - but I'm not excited about that either.  Besides there are lots of hoops to jump through - finger prints, sending transcripts, etc.  And it's not what I really want to be doing anyway. So ... this is the decision I've come to:

I'm moving to Seattle regardless of whether I get the private practice job or not.  If I do not get the job then I will work at a nursing home for a while until something better comes along.  It's not an ideal job, but I'll make more money that I would in the schools and I'll feel better about leaving in the middle of the year if something better comes along.

So I'm sure there are a number of questions.  For instance, why Seattle?  Well - because I absolutely LOVED it out there.  It was amazing.  There was enough to do, the people were friendly, there is city, mountains, water, wilderness all within an hour drive.  Plus - it's just a super cool city.  And if I'm not going to get my ideal job I'd rather be in an ideal place with a less than ideal job than a less than ideal place with a less than ideal job.  

Next - why nursing home over school?  It's not ideal, but it gets me medical speech pathology experience and higher pay.  The road to unhappiness is paved with gold, this I realize.  But if something better comes along mid year I want to feel okay with leaving.  And nursing homes can better afford to contract out.  Plus, I'll be working with a contract company, so they will provide a housing stipend for me.  Along with more continuing education money, a sign-on bonus and moving expenses.

Anyway - I don't have a job yet ... and I will not be moving until I have a job.  So, I need to get cracking.

So, that sums up my life so far.  YAY for Seattle! 

Update ...

So, it is about time I gave an update on the good ol' job search.  

Sadly, it doesn't look like California is working out for me.  I was rejected from one place, terminated my application at another (that is a whole other blog post ... to be relayed later), and got one job offer that I'm not too terribly excited about (they ascribe to a therapy paradigm that I think it absolute crack science).  Then, up in Washington, I have virtually gotten an offer (contingent on references and letters of recommendation ... these should all be fine).  And then I'm waiting to hear from the final place (which coincidentally is the job I like the most ... grrrr ... if patience is a virtue you can keep it).  They will get back to me the end of July. 

Meanwhile, I am sending out more applications.  This time, I think I'm going into a more medical focus ... I'm sending applications to various Veteran's Affairs hospitals (Seattle, Portland, Sacramento, So. Cal., DC).  I do have the opportunity for a phone interview with Cincinnati Children's Hospital - but it's for a satellite campus for psychologically impaired kids - not sure that's exactly what I'm looking for, we'll see.

Anyway, that's my job search life in a infinitesimal nutshell.  Hopefully it suffices for now.

Dilemma

So, I've got this dilemma.  I've been over hearing this group of English teachers discuss their coursework for the coming year ... this is not the interesting or dilemmatic aspect.  The dilemma resides here: one of the teachers stutters (very mildly, his colleagues might not even notice, but it's there ... short blocks, repetitions, prolongations, interjections and avoidance of words).  So, I'm wondering, do I go introduce myself and ask about his experiences stuttering?  Or would that freak a guy out?

We'll see.

Ugg

So, I'm back.  I'm at my usual haunt - Waterstreet.  However, today I am not enjoying my typical dark roast coffee, instead I am enjoying "Iced Coffee with a BANG!"  Basically, a really cold and really strong Americano.  Anyway.  So, I've been back for a little over 8 hours and I miss the west coast already.  While leaving Midway airport in Chicago walking outside was like walking into a brick wall - you don't realize how much you don't miss humidity until you don't have it for a while and then are suddenly pushed into an atmosphere that's more water vapor than air - gross.  It's before noon and my clothes are already sticking to me.  So I'm left wondering ... why don't we all live on the west coast?

Anyway.  My Out West Extravaganza has officially come to a close.  Now is the time I enjoy my last summer vacation and read lots of books and wait for the job offers to roll in.  (here's to hoping). 

On the whole it's hard to say whether I liked the bay area or Seattle better.  Both have their advantages and disadvantages.  The bay area has beautiful summer weather ... my friend just walked in, I'm going to hang out ... I'll finish this later

Truths

Of all the truths in the world that exist, this is most evident - my feet hurt.  I have literally walked miles all over Seattle, and I didn't bring good walking shoes to boot!  So, I'm back in one of my fun little parks I've "discovered" - this one is right downtown two blocks down Pike St from the Pike Place Market.  The one with the wifi.  This is truly a multi-sensory experience, there is the constant drone of traffic rumbling down Pike St and 3rd Ave, a bagpipe playing in the distance, the shhhing of the fountain behind me, the voices of people passing by.  Then there is the actual sport of people watching - very interesting ... one of my favorite past times.  I'm just going to list the things I see - just for fun.

Two guys attempting to discretely drink beer from styrofoam cups (one of which had a repaired cleft lip) ... I must admit that I aided and abbedded the beer drinkers, I let them borrow my bottle opener ... after which they offered me swigs of their beers - two good beers, Harp Lager and Smithwicks ... good quality beers ... although warm.  They are actually from Oberlin College in Oberlin, OH - imagine that.  

An elderly man feeding bread crumbs to the pigeons

Several homeless people napping on the benches

Tourists taking pictures

Children running through the fountain (and screaming too)

A pigeon mating ritual, or something ike taht - a big puffed up pigeon chasing a smaller one

A girl walking her boxer who just spat, very un-lady-like, on the groud

Ok - I'm done with that now.

Let me tell you another truth - this truth is about my night last night.  I went out an walked around the Capital Hill neighborhood last night.  Walked around, looked at some apartments I had found online, played a couple games of pool, hung out with some random people I met - I had a great time.  So - I begin to make my way home, only to realize that the bus route I had intended on taking made it's last run about a half hour before.  Not a particularly ideal situation.  So, I found another bus that was headed in the same direction and decided that I would hop on that one and get off once it stopped going in the direction(s) I wanted to go in.  So - that's what I did, and thankfully my plan worked - the bus stopped going the direction I wanted to go (North and/or East) about 16 blocks from my friends house.  16 blocks - that's nothing.  So, I walked back to his house, past some raucous parties (Philip lives right near the University of Washington, Seattle).  So anyway.  I get to Philip's house and all the doors are locked.  I call him ... many many times, send him text messages, pound on the front door, back door, his bedroom window ... it is as this point I make a realization : Philip is very much like his older brother: they both sleep like the dead.  So, I knew there was no way I was going to get into the house.  So, I thought about going to a 24 hr coffee shop or some other establishment ... couple flaws with that plan.  My computer was locked inside the house, so I couldn't locate the nearest one, and seeing as though we were in a neighborhood that was quite a distance from downtown, and university was out for summer I assumed that finding a 24 hr establishment was going to be difficult.  So, I went back to the Safeway I had passed on my way there and searched for a blanket or towel ... no dice.  So, I bought some paper towels instead.  Then using a broken coffee table, chair and door mats laying on the front porch I made a lean-to against the house in and effort to break the wind, then wrapped my head and feet and stuffed my shirt with paper towels ... at this point I should mention that I was wearing a very light t-shirt, a tank top underneath that, pants and sandals (no socks).  That night was by far the coldest night I have had in a long time.  Finally, several (like 4) hours later about 4:30 Philip woke up and opened the door for me.  Needless to say - I was not happy. So, I slept until about 10 and then got up and began my day much later than I wanted to.  

Anyway, the wind has picked up a bit and now my arms are getting a bit chilled ... think I'll go inside.