Anyway, I was sitting in a comfy chair minding my own buisness, and this young lady comes in and sits across from me on the comfy couch. She saw that I was reading articles and typing on my computer so she begins small talk and asks if I'm studying for midterms. I politely respond no I'm working on my thesis. (Now, bear in mind that I'm a little dehydrated this morning which affects my vocal folds and starting my voice is more difficult - therefore stuttering is much easier - so why I'm drinking coffee and not water I don't know eh, not important). So, I stuttered on "I" - it was just hard to get my voice going.
She did a little laugh. (remember this is the most common negative response I get). So, I said, "What?".
"Nothing" she replies looking away sheepishly. Once her gaze returned to her book she did another little laugh.
Now, I just want to prove my point to her. So, I said, "You laughed, I just wonder what's so funny."
"Nothing."
At this point I almost said, "Well, it looks like your laughing at me because I stuttered in my speech." I really think I should have...but then again she's still sitting across from me, so I could still say that. But, I'm taking small steps. The pre-no-tolerance-policy-Bryan would have let the laugh pass by without a second thought. At least now I addressed it. Next time I'll go a little bit further.
So. It's interesting that the person who mocked my stutter once again perfectly fits the profile. In contrast, while ordering my coffee I stuttered (once again dehydrated vocal folds - in fact there I was nearly relocated to a whisper). The cashier was male, and didn't even blink when I stuttered (furthermore, my stutter with him was worse). Interesting facts about speech disorders and gender roles.
Anyway, I've blogged what I wanted to. I should get back to my thesis.
2 comments:
When the young lady left she apologized for laughing at me, and said she didn't realize I stuttered. She thought I was making a joke. (Which I'm not sure I entirely agree with). So, I explained that this happens a lot, and so I've begun confronting people about it because many people don't understand stuttering - their perceptions have been altered by the media etc.
Way to be strong Bryan. Standing up for myself can be the hardest thing in the world sometimes. I always find that the hard part is not getting angry when I'm sticking up for me. It's almost like you have to take a stand, but you don't want to take it personal. Almost remove myself from the situation to take an objective view on it. Ridiculously hard, for me anyway.
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