My New Hair

So, my new hair has been getting a great host of reactions.  Honestly, I've loved the attention.  The reactions have ranged from "it's terrible" to "you look like Sting" to "just add some red and you'll be all ready for Christmas" to "Bryan, what did you do?!?"

Virtually all of the blue has washed out, so now I have blond hair with a little bit of green tint to the fo-hawk.  My original hair color has begun to grow, adding some depth to the blond.  Soon enough my hair will look like I frosted it - like how having frosted hair was really really cool in high school.  You know, all be guys bleached their hair a month before spring break so they could get a hair cut just before and then go down to Florida and cruise the beaches with "frosted" or "tipped" hair.  I never went anywhere for spring break, so I never dyed my hair.  

In other news, school is done for the semester.  So, during the break I am reading fiction and working on my thesis.  So far I have read "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khalid Husseini - great book. I highly suggest it.  And I have begun a new science fiction/fantasy series - A song of Ice and Fire.  I'm 3/4 of the way through book 1 - A Game of Thrones.  And I've written a little bit more than a page on the methods of my thesis.  I'm in a break from that right now.  I just can't think that hard for that long.  Besides, I've got a meeting with Dr. Tasko in 40 minutes.  

Anyway, I should begin the process of getting ready to go to school. 

The Long Awaited ...

So, it's been a while.  Since last blogging I, rode the train to Chicago, "slept" in an airport (by sleep I mean walk around the terminal for 5 hours waiting for check in to begin), flew to Denver, flew back, got stuck in Chicago (missed my train), went to classes, oh and had 19 calls about possible jobs in 48 hours - 19 (not including the one phone interview I had)!

So.  This is the last week of classes in this fall semester.  Which means that I now have to attend six more class periods (excluding finals) in my entire masters degree!  I am virtually done taking classes.  (That, my friends, is what they call a good feeling).  One week from tomorrow only an (online) class, internship, and thesis will stand in the way of my name becoming Bryan T. Brown, MA, CF-SLP.

In my spare time (so about 15 -30 minutes a day) I am researching different metropolitan areas around the country in search of the place I want to live.  The world is open to me (well the country is easiest, although I really want to live and work in New Zealand).  So, on my monster.com account I have selected several metropolitan areas as my favorite.  Among them (an in no particular order): Seattle, WA; Portland, OR; Chicago, IL; Boston, MA; Washington, DC; Philadelphia, PA; San Francisco, CA.  You'll notice that all of them are large cities with public transportation systems.  What's more, is that all of them have been included in the top 25 of the country's most "walkable" cities.  More to the point: I am sick of driving.  I want to walk and use public transportation to get around.  But, this is based on me finding a position in one of those cities.  Here, I am faced with a conundrum.  Hospitals and clinics in large cities are quite reputable, and therefore, can afford to have expectations of experience.  I, as a new grad, have little experience.  Roughly, this means that it is unlikely I would find a job in a reputable hospital or rehab clinic within a large city.  Ah, but hope is not entirely lost.  There are HUGE staffing companies that have contracts with smaller rehab clinics and schools in large cities.  The only draw back is that I would not necessarily have the direct supervision I would like (as a clinical fellow, and not a full fledged speech-language pathologist).  So, I have some thinking to do.

On that note, the phone interview I had was with a smaller (but still large) staffing company for a rehab center in Tacoma, WA.  The building sounds quite interesting.  It is specifically for patients who have been trachotomized and some of which are on ventilators and patients who have sustained severe neurological insults from motor vehicle accidents, strokes and other traumatic brain injuries.  It is technically a long-term care facility (boo) but the patients do not stay long - the recover quickly (yay).  I would work with occupational and physical therapists (yay) but I would be the only SLP (boo).  I would get to design a whole new augmentative and alternative communication system (yay) but, I have to design a whole new augmentative and alternative communication system (boo).  My supervisor would be there about three days a week (yay/boo).  It is near Seattle (yay), but it is in Tacoma (boo).  I would have public transportation access to Seattle (yay) but Tacoma does not have a reliable public transportation system - or so my research has revealed (boo).  So all in all, I like the job, but I'm not sure about the area.  I said no to a job in Texas because of the area, so wouldn't it make sense I do the same for this - I think I might fly out there and interview, see the area and then make a decision.

Anyway, I still have some homework to finish, and thesis methods to work on (I'm on the methods section - a new section - something new and different!  Here is where I realize how big it is going to be, yesterday I realized that I might be biting off more than I can chew, so, I've come up with a solution.  Work work work until the end of February/beginning of March.  Whatever I have finished then, tie that off for the thesis, but continue working on analyzing the remainder of the data, and then once I have the whole problem analyzed submit it to a journal for publication.  I think it's a good plan, we'll see what Dr. Tasko says tomorrow).

So, for now I bid you adieu.  Good night and good luck.

The Convention

So, for those of you who know (or care), I was in Boston at the annual American Speech-Language Hearing Association (ASHA) National convention.  The convention entailed entirely too much  'stuff' to write about in a blog, so I will give you the highlights.

We (Megan, Meghan, Nicole, Colleen, Sally and I) stayed in a hostel in Boston.  We were all (not Sally for some unknown reason) in a co-ed room with 14 beds in it.  I don't think that at any one point all the beds were filled, but there was a constant influx of people.  Anyway, the majority of the people in our room were all speech pathologists or audiologists going to the convention.  There were two girls (I don't remember their names ... another Megan I think and someone else) and three other guys (Mario, George, and Patrick).  To make a long story short - we did a lot of stuff together.  

About the convention: at any time people had three options to choose from they could attend sessions (lectures by experts), visit the exhibition hall (a giant room [literally the size of a football field] filled with companies that sell therapy products, and companies looking for employees, or the attendees could browse posters (individual oral presentations of an individual's research).  

So, George was from Greece, and was here presenting a poster on augmentative and alternative communication in the case of a Greek man with a traumatic brain injury (by no means a ground breaking presentation, however, speech pathology is very new in Greece, so it is new research in Greece).  Mario presented a poster, however, I don't remember what it was on, quite possibly something to do with voice rehabilitation after a laryngectomy (surgical removal of larynx secondary to laryngeal cancer).  

Anyway, mostly, I perused the posters.  I found that quite enlightening - especially that in the not too distant future I will be doing my own poster presentations.  So, not surprisingly I spent a lot of time around the posters pertaining to stuttering.  This is how a poster session works - you either have a specific poster you want to see, or walk around looking for interesting posters, when you find the one you're looking for you read the poster and ask the author to walk you through the research.  They give their 1 minute prepared schpeel, and then you ask questions.  So, once again making a long story short, I read a lot of research, some of which I thought was really really cool, other that I wondered why the authors wasted their time (poorly designed methods etc).  But even better then that,  I met a great deal of other people who stutter.  Up until this past weekend I knew very few people who stutter (clients not included).  But, I met students doing posters, people browsing posters, and even professors and researchers doing posters who all stutter too.  The range of severity was incredible.  There are two that come to mind (the two extremes) a woman who said she stuttered, but I never heard her stutter, and a young man (about my age) who had a lot of prolongations and repetitions.  He was using a lot of block modification (a therapy technique).  

I think that the most encouraging thing was engaging in conversation about stuttering, stuttering research, stuttering therapy and all the secondary characteristics that go along with it.  (I learned that I have a little be it tremor in my left cheek when I stutter - a woman from England told me that...I didn't know that before).  Anyway, enough on that - just know that I am that much more sure that going on to get my Ph.D. is the right course of action for me.

I also interviewed.  I went into the convention with the mindset that I would not find a job (rest assured, I have not signed any papers).  I also spoke with professors at some of the schools I am considering for Ph.D. work.  

I volunteered by giving directions, and standing in an information booth all day on Friday (to cover the cost of my registration) - I would not do that again.  I missed so much stuff.  If I were able to pick the time and location of my volunteering then I would consider it, but I missed so much that I'm not sure it was worth it.   

So many stories, so little time.  I need sleep.  I will hopefully add stories later.

Ah, but I miss Boston.  If I could afford to live there I would live there in a heartbeat.  The size, culture, mass transit, location, history are all wonderful.  I miss it.  I think I could afford it with a roommate ... 

My Day of Silence

So yesterday was a day to remember.  For a class assignment I was not allowed to speak write or use sign language.  Instead, I was to build a communication board and use that along with gestures, non-speech vocalizations (uh huh), and facial expressions/body language to communicate. 

Needless to say it was an interesting day.  It began at Waterstreet (the variety in my coffee joints absolutely astounds me).  I walked up to the counter and placed my communication board on the counter.  The attendant looked at me with a puzzled glance.   I let her read my introduction paragraph - basically saying for a class I was not allowed to speak etc.  I had it all planned out - on my communication board I had cells labeled 'coffee' and right next to it a cell labeled 'incredible bar' (peanut butter fudge covered in dark chocolate - delicious.  In my plan, when I would tell the cashier what I wanted I would only point to coffee and I would see if I got an incredible bar to - I had built some ambiguity into the system to see if the attendant would follow my communication or if he/she would assume too much and give me both items. 

Well, my plan was partially thwarted - the attendant was too good a communication partner - she did all the work so I didn't need my communication board.  She asked yes and no questions before I could tell her what I wanted with my board. So, she asked me if I wanted coffee, and then I said yes and spelled out d a r k for the dark roast.  She then asked me if I wanted room for cream, I indicated no.  Then, contrary to every other time she didn't ask me if I wanted anything else.  If I had wanted an incredible bar I could have shown her the icon for it.  Because I didn't want anything other than coffee everything in the communicative exchange went well.  The thing I can't tell is if my order is so ritualized that she knew I didn't usually get anything other than the dark roast, or if she wanted to exchange to go smoothly so she kept it simple.

Anyway, I did a lot of no talking and pointing and such.  During my day I took a break from being silent and had a meeting with Dr. Tasko about PhD stuff.  To make a long story short, we talked about what I should do, and where I should go and all that jazz.  So, I have a new top five list:

1. University of Iowa

1. Purdue University

3. University of Colorado-Boulder

4. Vanderbilt University

5. University of Pittsburg

I have contacted people from these universities, and am awaiting replies.  I am still planning to take a year or two off, but one of the things Dr. Tasko said was to establish lines of communication early, because the professors will be able to let me know when funding will become available.  I refuse to go anywhere that does not give me funding.

Now I get to begin the process of reading the researcher's past work, visiting the campuses, talking with faculty, etc.  But - first graduation and finding a job.

And all that jazz

So, I'm at Waterstreet (surprise, surprise) and I just overheard a group of coeds studying for a test of some sort.  It had some medical (neurological) component to it - they were discussing aphasia (a group of language disorders that occur after a stroke or traumatic brain injury).  Anyway, my brain ached because their definitions of aphasia were so simple.  I thought about going over to explain to them that in Broca's aphasia it's not just that your 'tongue is broken', but rather your brain is not able to tell your mouth how to form words with the ease it did before the stroke, and that Wernicke's aphasia was not 'a loss of short term memory', but rather, an inability to accurately process incoming acoustic stimuli, thus your speech production is a series of phonetically correct words but the message of the speech has been lost (that's why it's called empty speech - the message is not there anymore).  Alas, I decided to let sleeping dogs lie, and didn't correct them of their misnomers. 

In other news ... my supervisor was at a conference in Grand Rapids today, so I did therapy all by myself!  Everything went fine - nothing out of the ordinary (we did have two more emotional mini-breakdowns than usual, but nothing I couldn't handle).  Our afternoons are usually spent doing assistive technology stuff, but because Elizabeth wasn't here I went downstairs and "helped" Sarah. (Helped is in quotations because she doesn't need help, and by my being there I increased her work load, but I helped.  On the flip side, one of the kids Sarah worked with today had his best day ever - he was independently signing - something that hasn't happened yet!).  Sarah works with a young population that Elizabeth and I work with.  Our caseload consists of middle-high school aged kids with severe cognitive impairments.  Some of our students have some autistic traits, but no one with full blown autism (we're all on the spectrum a little bit anyway).  Sarah's caseload is a much younger crew: elementary aged kids.  The ones I saw today have more autistic traits than my students, so it was good and interesting to interact with them.

I have to say, that before coming to Croyden autism scared me.  I had never worked with anyone with autism, I had barely even seen what autism is like.  Having been here (and observed the severe cases of autism) I am no longer scared.  In fact - sometimes it's down right hilarious.  That may sound cruel, but when a child sees a toy they really like and they flex and extend their body so much they almost fall out of the chair it's really funny.  We use language and other linguistic acts to express our feelings, some of these children use large movements, and random vocalizations.  By the way, reverse phonation (making voice on the inhalation instead of the exhalation) sounds really crazy when a 7 year old boy does it.

Anyway, my phone is dead and I am expecting a phone call, so I should really go home and charge it.  Curses, I didn't want to leave this early.

I have a plan! Or so I think.

Ok, for those of you who don't know I have been thinking about going on to get my PhD in speech sciences.  So, as I'm nearing the end of my masters degree it is time to begin thinking about the possibility of becoming Dr. Brown (that has a nice ring to it).  So here is my plan, cursory as it may be.

I will take a year (or two) off of school.  I am burnt out and need some time to recoup.  If I take one year off of school I will look for a job in the same town as the PhD program I plan to attend.  If I take two years off I am going to take a job in a really cool city, get my certification and then move to the city were the program is in.  

During the year I am in the university's city I will work and network with the professor I plan to work with.  This will get me involved in research and allow me to maintain my sanity.  Right now I have two choices of programs that stand out in my mind.  The first choice is the University of Iowa, located in Iowa City, Iowa.  (I know, I know, Iowa City is the antithesis of what I wanted out of a city: big and on the water).  Anyway, I like Iowa because they are doing research into identifying subtypes of stuttering and risk factors in childhood stuttering: two key areas in my opinion of how to go about further researching stuttering.  I also like it because University of Iowa is were speech pathology was born.  Stuttering therapy was developed at WMU, but speech path was birthed at Iowa.  Furthermore, Iowa is dripping in stuttering expert alumni (Charles Van Riper, Wendell Johnson, Oliver Bloodstine [all of whom stuttered] the list goes on).  Not that I expect to join that short list of world renown stuttering experts, but just being where they were would be cool.  (For those of you who know of the Monster Study [teaching normally fluent children to stutter] - this is were it happened).

My second choice is the University of Wisconsin-Madison.  While UWM does not have the prestige that Iowa has, it does have very good research facilities.  And Madison is a cool city - so I 'd get to do my PhD in a cool city.  And that would be awesome.

A third choice is University of Connecticut.  Similar to UWM, they have really good research facilities.  However, unlike Madison, Storrs is not a cool city, and from what I heard when I was looking in UCONN for my masters, most of the faculty and masters students live in Hartford and drive the 30 minutes to school everyday. 

I  don't really know where I'm going to be or what I'm going to do.  I'm meeting with Dr. Tasko and Dr. Sharp sometime in the near future to talk about PhD stuff.  I'll get some good counsel from them.  (it's a little bit funny, but Dr. Sharp got her PhD at Iowa and Dr. Tasko got his from UWM).  The only thing I do know is that I am going to take a year off.  I'm a little leery to take a year off because once you leave it's difficult to get back into the swing of academia.  It seems as though most of my professors did take a break between their masters and doctorates, so they did it, I assume I would be able to make the transition too.  Also - if I move to the city were my program will be then there will be a forethought of: I'm going to get my PhD.  I think that might be necessary.

Anyway, I think it's about time I go to bed.  I'll talk about my day later - I had an interesting one including playing acrobatics on a playground for the pleasure of a 14 year old girl with a cognitive impairment. 

A Little Perspective

So, here I am at Waterstreet (again - but the one downtown this time), it's a beautiful October day and in six months and one day I will be graduating. (I actually probably will not be done until June, but I'll be walking in April).  I have almost reached the half-way point with my thesis (I am now officially behind on it and not from a lack of work just from a  "Crap, this is a lot of work" syndrome).

Not having any idea where you will be in 8 months is an odd feeling.  I could be in Seattle, Boston, Kalamazoo, Washington DC, Tyler, TX, anywhere.  With that in mind I find myself enjoying the pleasant weather in Kalamazoo every chance I get.  Kalamazoo is a really cool place to live when the weather is nice.  When the weather is "less than nice" it looses a lot of it's charm.  There are glimmers of hope in the 6-month ice age that is about to ensue, but for the most part it's bitter cold and windy for a long freaking time.  There are also some items of memorabilia I want to pick up before leaving: a cup (and/or t-shirt) from Waterstreet, a t-shirt from bell's, a picture of Kraftbrau's (before it closes).  

My college years are 6-8 months from completion.  I'm a little bit excited about that.  At the same time it's a little intimidating.  When I'm working people will be depending on me for their care.  People will be relying on my expertise in speech, language and cognition - my performance will never again influence me and me alone.  I will have clients, colleagues, supervisors all relying on my work.  This realization (in my opinion) is the fundamental difference between undergraduate and post-graduate collegiate work.  There is the realization that you, as the certified and licensed speech-language pathologist, will be responsible for the neuro-rehab of my clients (in my view that is what all therapy is - changing neurological function.  Be that in the child with an articulation disorder (saying w for r ... this is for you Justin, Natalie, Theresa, and anyone else who will understand ... wiquid gwiding) or in the adult whose brain has been altered after a stroke or traumatic brain injury.  Everything is neurological in nature - our behaviors, our thoughts - what would be really interesting if they could prove the presence of God through neural studies - our soul, our interactions with God affect our minds and bodies; furthermore, those interactions should be observable in the human brain.  Oddly enough, there are people working on just that).

Anyway, that's enough perspective for me.  I need mine in small doses.

My No Tolerance Policy

The first chance I got to enact my no tolerance policy occurred today.  I was at Waterstreet working on my thesis (by the way, I'm still at Waterstreet and should probably still be working on my thesis - but this was so good I had to blog about it now).

Anyway, I was sitting in a comfy chair minding my own buisness, and this young lady comes in and sits across from me on the comfy couch.  She saw that I was reading articles and typing on my computer so she begins small talk and asks if I'm studying for midterms.   I politely respond no I'm working on my thesis.  (Now, bear in mind that I'm a little dehydrated this morning which affects my vocal folds and starting my voice is more difficult - therefore stuttering is much easier - so why I'm drinking coffee and not water I don't know eh, not important).  So, I stuttered on "I" - it was just hard to get my voice going.  

She did a little laugh.  (remember this is the most common negative response I get).  So, I said, "What?".  

"Nothing" she replies looking away sheepishly.  Once her gaze returned to her book she did another little laugh.  

Now, I just want to prove my point to her.  So, I said, "You laughed, I just wonder what's so funny."

"Nothing."  

At this point I almost said, "Well, it looks like your laughing at me because I stuttered in my speech."  I really think I should have...but then again she's still sitting across from me, so I could still say that.  But, I'm taking small steps.  The pre-no-tolerance-policy-Bryan would have let the laugh pass by without a second thought.  At least now I addressed it.  Next time I'll go a little bit further.

So.  It's interesting that the person who mocked my stutter once again perfectly fits the profile.  In contrast, while ordering my coffee I stuttered (once again dehydrated vocal folds - in fact there I was nearly relocated to a whisper).  The cashier was male, and didn't even blink when I stuttered (furthermore, my stutter with him was worse).  Interesting facts about speech disorders and gender roles.

Anyway, I've blogged what I wanted to.  I should get back to my thesis.

The Joy of Stuttering

So, for the first time in a long time someone actually mocked my stutter.  I was at Theresa's Dead Celebrity Party (I was Charles Lindbergh).  So, in response I said, "So what, I stutter, back off."

Which brings me to an interesting point.  Over the past few years I have interacted with many people, some of whom have mocked me because I have a difficult time speaking in a fluid manner.  Generally, the mocking exists as a simple laugh.  In rare cases, like the one last night the individual actually mimics my dysfluency.  In this case it was a t-t-t.  Anyway, the point of this is that the majority of individuals who mock me to my face were young women.  I have no doubt that my age (and possibly gender) influence their likelihood to mock (if I were much older than they I expect they would defer to the culturally expected norm to 'respect your elder', as for my gender, I don't know if I would be mocked more or less if I were female).  

Anyway, I have decided that I am enacting a Zero-Tolerance policy when it comes to people mocking my stutter.  If I am laughed at while ordering coffee (or anything else) I will ask the attendant what is so funny - because apparently what they find funny is synonymous with what I find terribly frustrating.  And asking them what's funny about stuttering may put them in their place, and allows me to be more open about my speech disorder.  And it would give me an opportunity to educate my fellow humans about speech disorders, specifically stuttering. Furthermore, as a future speech-language pathologist it is my responsibility to increase awareness about speech disorders.  The attendants that mock me will hopefully not mock another individual who stutters, thus, making the world a more friendly place for my prospective clients.

Anyway, I'm done ranting now.

Today was an interesting day to top all interesting days.  It began with my time at the Young Adult Program (as part of my internship at Croyden Ave School I spend Thursday mornings at another school for young adults with developmental delays - these individuals have much higher functional capacities than the individuals at Croyden do; however, their impairments still remain significant).  Anyway, for the most part the students are highly sociable and will willingly interact with any person willing to take the time to listen to what they have to say.  So, today I had interactions with a teenage girl who said she was bleeding (there is a really funny story about this; however, it is not appropriate to post on the internet, so you know), and a 21-year old man who is excited because can "gets to drink beer now."  

This opened up an interesting conversation between my supervisor and I: should individuals with cognitive impairments, of sufferable age, be allowed to drink alcohol in to the point of inebriation?  After all, they do have suffrage.  Furthermore,  if I chose to, I could go out drink like a fish and possibly injure myself - and as long as I did not place another individual in harms way - I would be well within my rights.  However, if an individual over the age of 21, living in a group home drank alcohol and became inebriated that individual's supervisor would face disciplinary action through the employer and may even face the possibility of criminal prosecution via the individual's family.  So, a dichotomy exists - I (as the supervisor of a group home) cannot legally bar the home members from consuming alcohol, yet if I do not stop them I face punitive action.  So, I must choose between my job and my client's right to consume alcohol.

To this quandary, we could add this: should we even deprive an individual with a cognitive impairment the very powerful learning experience of 'hangover'?  It would serve as another tool to teach cause and effect (as well as moderation - a seemingly difficult concept to teach).  I am learning a lot more than 'how to give speech therapy' at my internship.

I have learned that individuals with cognitive impairments are not all that different from you and I.  The primary difference between us is my increased skill at dealing in the abstract, or 'outside the box'. 

The Picture

  I don't know why, but suddenly the picture wanted to upload.  So, anyway, this is a picture of some red delicious apples taken with my phone.  It was a perfect day for apple picking.  If anything, it could have been a few degrees cooler.  But, I'm not complaining about warm weather.  Soon enough we will have nothing but snow and wind.

All the best intentions and Technical Problems

So, I was going to post earlier, but due to technical difficulties I was unable to post a picture I wanted to post.  So, I am going to try again, but if it doesn't work then oh well.

So anyway, last week Theresa, Emily, Emily's brother (Bill) and I went apple picking.  Great fun.  We still have lots of apples.  I don't really remember if there was anything else I wanted to say.  The picture I was going to post was of a tree with apples in it (so Justin and Natalie could look longingly at Michigan apples).

Anyway, Tuesday was a good day. My supervisor was sick, so I got the day off too!  I began the day having breakfast with Theresa at her office hours for Sigma Tau Delta.  I don't really know why they have office hours, but I got to eat breakfast with Theresa because of them, so that's cool.  Then I spent the remainder of the day looking for (new) flights to Boston in November, and working on my thesis.  

The flights for Boston are (new) because we had booked flights in March, and then Spirit airlines decided that they were no longer flying from Detroit to Boston, and so they 'graciously' gave us our money back.  Needless to say I was less than pleased.  I was raving mad.  I called, emailed, wrote them letters, and did not receive a response.  Therefore, I am being true to my word: I cannot recommend Spirit Airlines for your travel plans, they are unable to guarantee the flight you book will be there, and they apparently are not willing to make adequate compensation (find another flight for you on another airline).  So, never fly Spirit Airlines.

So anyway, I found a flight on Northwest, but we are flying into Providence, RI and then taking the train up to Boston.  This was cheaper than flying into Boston.  Well, flying from Chicago to Boston was the same price, so either way we will have a 2 hour drive, a 1 hour train ride and a 2-3 hour flight.  

That night Diane Rehm (from NPR) spoke at the Bernhard Center.  I went and watched her.  She made a really good presentation.  One of my favorite parts was when my classmate, Colleen, asked her about her life with spasmodic dysphonia (that's the disorder she has that makes her voice sound strained/strangled).  Other then that, the primary message of her speech was: listen.  People should listen more and talk less.

The rest of the week when by uneventfully.  I had a thesis meeting with Dr. Tasko yesterday.  We met at Waterstreet Coffee Joint (on Oakland Dr.) and he bought be coffee.  It was great.  While he was tearing apart my writing (it wasn't that bad) be said that my writing style was better than a lot of my peers (if you're one of my peers, I'm sure he didn't mean you).  So, I felt good about my writing, even though it was completely altered.  Anyway, we're having another meeting on Monday morning, so I've got a lot of work to do this weekend.  I summarized another article, and I've got two more plus the edits we outlines yesterday to finish.  It should be a busy day.

Other than that, life is pretty boring.   I've got a sinus infection.  (my first one in several years).  It's not bad.  It consists of a runny nose and that 'stuffed head' feeling.  There's not much of a headache, and I really hope I don't develop one.

Anyway.  I better go - may battery is about to die.

The picture didn't work.

Grumble, rant, grumble

Sorry, I promise I will not use this blog to rant and rave against 'the man' or anyone else for that matter ... but I am a little bit frustrated today.  I went to the library to get some articles for my thesis.  They were archived journals, so they are not for circulation.  Anyway, I forgot my copy card (mistake #1), then I forgot to bring cash to buy another one (mistake #2).  I really didn't want to buy another one (I have two already).  So, then I asked an aide if the library had any scanners I could use.  Of course they do not.  The computer lab, which is connected to the library, has some, but the librarians would not allow me to take the journals out of the library.  I would have left them my ID and/or my license ... ah but to no avail.  So I politely requested the library invest in getting some scanners.

In other news:

I forgot how awful giving standardized tests are.  I evaluated a boy at my internship today (the PLS4 - Preschool Language Scale 4th edition).  Even though I've given it several times, I always forget how awful it is to give.  You want the kid to do well, yet the better the kid does the more torture you are put through.  Today was especially difficult - in order to end the test you have to establish a ceiling (6 wrong answers in a row) - anyway the boy I was testing got 5 wrong in a row - and then got the 6th one right - which means we have to start establishing a ceiling all over again.  Which means he got 11 of the last 12 questions wrong.  The poor guy.

Side note: the office assistant from my old job (the Civic theatre) just walked into the coffee shop I'm in - I don't think she recognized me.

Anyway.  It's almost 7 I think it's time for dinner.

Pinky and the Brain

So, I began the day with an exciting hour in the anatomy lab! I just love the smell of formeldahyde in the morning, don't you?

Anyway, we were examining human brains. It was incredibly interesting. The brain is such a complex organ. I know a fair bit of neurological anatomy, yet I still felt completely inadequate after leaving the lab. There is so much I don't know, and we were just labeling things. We were not diving into what brain areas control what. We got into a little bit of that in the basal ganglia and cerebellum - but both of those are part of the secondary motor pathways.

Anyway - I saw several human brains today! I know not everyone gets excited about that, but I do. I have a greater understanding about the brain as a whole, but also the arteriole circulation to the brain (we have never really talked about venious venting of the brain, but from what I understand the veins are really boring. And if anything vascular is going to happen to the brain it is going to arrise from the arteries. I suppose aneurisms could stem from veins, I don't really know ... but the blood pressure would be less great in veins, so specifically aneurisms would be more likely in the arteries. Sorry, thinking "out loud" again.)

Anyway ... not much else ...

Internship Day 3

Today was a good day.  We started off doing group therapy.  However, in our first group 2 of our 4 students were not ready, so we just did therapy with the two that were ready, then we did therapy with the other two.  It actually worked really well.  Anyway, but that's not the important item of the day.

In the afternoon we attempted to do some evaluation of an older student - essentially we were wondering: "Can he operate a switch" (by switch we mean button he can push).  We aren't really sure weather he can or not.  We didn't get reliable results.  Once again, this is not the important item of the day.

And the important item of the day:

We did a home visit today.  We went to the home of a child who has a neurological tumor.  The tumor has progressed so much that it is affecting his sensation and motor movements.  We visited him to give him some 'independence'.  Independence is in quotes because he is dependent on his care givers for virtually everything.  This was only our assessment, but we were able to give him some control over his computer experiences.  He gets a lot of enjoyment out of pressing buttons, so we added a USB switch to the computer, so when the mouse cursor hovers above an icon he can use the switch and start a song, open a program, etc.  We didn't do anything amazing, by any stretch of the imagination, but we did allow him to regain a little bit of the independence he lost as a result of the progressive tumor.

Also, he really likes Billy Joel ... and he happened to like the Piano Man ... and there happened to be a piano in the room ... and I happen to know how to play the Piano Man ... so I played it and we sang along - it was great fun.

One thing I have noticed: children with severe cognitive impairments can show such immense joy.  (Granted, an unfamiliar observer may not interpret their actions as joyful, but to those of us who have spent a little bit of time with them their joy is clearly evident).  When the child we visited heard a computer program he had not used in several weeks on his home computer, he was ecstatic.  Hearing his laughter (at something so simple as a song) was great.

Anyway, I better go now...

Inside Looking Out

WMU is a fairly large university. As such, campus tours are a regularity around here. As I walked into the library this morning (from where I am writing this blog) I encountered two such campus tours. I am always amused when I see them, because I feel like I imagine animals at a zoo feel when patrons to the zoo stroll past the animal's exhibit. The animal is just living life while these weird bipedal, virtually hairless mammals oogle and gawk at the poor, bored-out-of-their-mind animals.

This is how I feel: here I am going to the library to catch up on some reading for my Advanced Speech Science class and I run into high school seniors and their parents touring the campus with the aid of a representative of the student body. So, let me let you in on my thought processes. I often think that these prospective students and parents might think ...

The collective mind of the alien people: "Ooo, look! There's one of those college students in his natural habitat. He's going to the library, I wonder what he's going to do now. Let's watch him. Oh no, he's coming straight for me, I hope he doesn't hurt me or something. Phew, he only went in the door next to me. I wonder what he's going to do. Maybe he's doing some reading for a class. I wonder how much homework he has for class. ..."

And within that collective though process, individual thought processes would also be occurring:

Parent #1 "Well, here's a nice boy. No tattoos or piercings. And oh! He's going to the library. I hope my Johnny stays as well balanced as this boy has."

Male Student #1 "Punk."

Parent #2 "There's a normal looking one. After seeing that other kid with the pink hair and multiple facial piercings I was about to lock Mary in her room and never let her out. Maybe college boy aren't all weird."

Female Student #1 "I wonder if he has a girlfriend."

Parent #3 "Orange sunglasses, humph. I bet he fails every class."


Anyway, that is just a taste of my internal monologue as I ascended the stairs to the computer lab in the library. Nothing profound, not even remotely 'normal', in fact, probably really odd. But call it what you want it ... I'm only a college student in my natural habitat.

Augmentative and Alternative Communication

Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC).  It is one of my classes this semester.  To sum the class up in a nut shell, we explore and implement different avenues of communication clients can use on a daily basis.

Active participation is one of the standards we use to evaluate how an AAC device is working. Is the client actively participating? If not, what do we need to change to increase the function aspects of the device?  Incidentally, that was our discussion in class today.  My professor, Dr. Bedrosian, had a special project for me.  During class my job was the play the part of an individual who was not able to speak.  I had some limited writing ability, but passing papers would not be an option.

Anyway, this class is discussion based, so we are expected to participate in discussions about the literature, and devices etc.  So, when Dr. Bedrosian asked me a question (me the non-speaking individual), I was unable to answer: I couldn't talk, I couldn't write, I didn't have a device to speak for me.  In short, I had no option but to stare at her and shrug my shoulders.  The rest of the class laughed.

So, later on, Dr. Bedrosian passed out some papers.  I wasn't able to receive them, or pass them along.  So, after the papers had sat infront of me for a few minutes my neighbor, Meghan, noticed, gave me one, and passed them along to my other neighbor.  (and then, of course, gave me a quizzical look).  More not talking later, and not participating in class (Meghan turning pages for me etc) Dr. Bedrosian let the rest of the class in on the secret.

When Dr. Bedrosian asked my classmates their internal responses to my behavior I got a lot of funny answers.  

 - "I thought he had finally cracked, broke under the pressure of grad school"

 - "I thought he was having a stroke"

 - "I thought he was really [upset]" (They didn't use the word upset)

Anyway, I thought that was really fun, and you might enjoy it.

Internship, Day 2

Today was fun.  I observed Elizabeth giving therapy and got to step in on some activities.  One of the frustrations Elizabeth has expressed is that while the students are Croyden are learning functional tasks in their classrooms, Croyden is lacking in true academic content.  Granted, these children are going to have a difficult time complete simple academic tasks, but even if the academia is not the goal of the activity it can still be used.  In an attempt to bring a little bit of academics back Elizabeth has decided to use some basic science experiments in our therapy. 

Today we experimented with colors.  We had plastic test tubes (with screw tops - essential) filled with water.  We then prompted the students to choose which color we would add to the water (4 choices - blue, green, red and yellow).  Typically, these students have voice output devices (cursory explanation: the student selects a word from a display and the device produces the word auditorally).   However, only one of the four students currently as his device.  The other three devices are currently being serviced.  So, the other three shared one we were fixing for another student.  Anyway, once all five test tubes had been filled up we added more colors to them to see what colors we could make.  So, the academics were really just a facility with which to prompt conversation, and while we didn't do direct instruction about colors, and the process of mixing colors we were able to give them an opportunity to observe science in action.  Next time we might increase the complexity and mix food coloring with water and vegetable oil, and then mix the water and oil.

Later on in the day we walked around visiting other classrooms (giving me an idea of the variety of students and skill levels present at Croyden).  At the end of the day we help bus the students to their buses.  Elizabeth and I went to a middle-high school aged classroom.  In that classroom there are no male teachers (fairly common, I think there are a total of three male teachers in the school - but in the speech pathology department there are 2 women and 2 men [with me] an equal split never happens - it's usually 80-90% women).  anyway, back on track.  In the classroom one of the girls shook my hand hello, and then grabbed it and held it to her cheek.  One of her teachers jokingly told her that she shouldn't be flirting with someone she just met.  She laughed and smiled.  So, I decided to go with it, I told her I liked her sweater, and her hair etc.  Her laughter was great!  Maybe you had to be there, but seeing and hearing this child with cerebral palsy laugh and engage in a "typical" teenage behavior was remarkable.  Many of these children are destined for a life of being forgotten and neglected, and for that instance this child was the center of attention.  It was a really good experience, and one I think everyone else should have at sometime.  

It's actually really humbling, that 5 minutes of 'flirting' (if you can even call it that) is something she will never get outside of school, and it was the only communicative act occurring at that time.  Typically developing teenagers engage in much more subtle flirting as an overlay of oral communication (they flirt with their eyes and not their words), and don't even stop and think about the complexity of their ability to communicate.  Even my own communication difficulties cannot hold a candle to the difficulties these people live with.  My oral communication may not be as fluid and 'artistic' as a fluent speakers, but I can get a fairly complex message across.

Anyway, off my soap box.  In other news, it was a windy day.  I like windy days.  I saw a blue heron today, and now it's time to go work in my thesis.  I'm reading articles about breathing for speech!

Bronco Bash

Yesterday, September 7, 2007, was the 27th annual Bronco Bash.  For those of you who don't know, each academic year WMU celebrates with Bronco Bash - a fair type deal - lots of vendors giving away crap college students don't really need but take anyway because it's free.  Throughout my time at WMU I have learned what the good vendors are and which ones are not.  For example, Kalamazoo's metro transit authority (the metro for short) gives umbrellas away each year.  Granted they are not sturdy umbrellas, but one usually lasts me 1-2 years - just in time to grab another one at Bronco Bash.  This year, in addition to handing out umbrellas, the metro handed out rucksacks as well.  I'm not sure if I'll ever use it, but hey I'm sure I'll find a use for it. 

Other spoils of Bronco Bash include:

 - Lots of coupons

 - three plastic cups

 - A popcorn container from the movie theatre (really cool because now I get in for $3 and I get free popcorn too!)

 - Quite a few pens.

 - Anything (and everything) else found its way to the trash can.

While at Bronco Bash I tried an oxygen bar.  Basically they forced air (70% oxygen (o2), 30% atmospheric gases) into a beaker with a flavorful liquid, the higher o2 concentrated air was then forced out into a tube that connected to a nasal oxygen cannula and into my nose.  Therefore, I was breathing in a pleasant smelling, higher o2 concentrated air.  I chose peppermint.  It was good - I'm not sure I'd pay for it, but nevertheless it was a new and different experience. 

At it's most basic level using the oxygen bar does something along the lines of a hyperbaric chamber does (but less efficiently, with a lower concentration of o2, but more cheaply - oh and for non-medical reasons).  The theory goes that a higher concentration of o2 in the atmosphere would improve all vegetative processes of the body (neural function, digestion, cellular absorption of nutrients).  Therefore, when you have brief periods when you are breathing o2 fortified air your brain will work better (you'll do better on tests etc) and you will feel healthier.  I was only on o2 for about 5 minutes, so I didn't get that much.  The employees suggested anywhere from 15-30 minutes.  I didn't notice any significant changes in my ability to process.  Maybe I should design and implement my own research study: have a neutral party study and take tests while on o2 and off o2 and see if there is a difference.  Eh, that would take too much time and effort.  I'll be satisfied with something more practical: knowing that if ever I have a really bad smell in my nose that just will not go away, I can go just off campus and smell some o2 fortified air until the rancid smell is gone. 

Anyway, this is me, signing off.

Internship, Day 1

Welcome to the very first posting of my blog. Hopefully I will be diligent in posting, but you can never know how much time I'll have to post.  

Anyway, Thursday, September 6, 2007 I began my internship at Croyden Avenue School.  For those of you who don't know, Croyden is a center based learning facility for children through the Kalamazoo County School District with severe cognitive and emotional deficits.  My supervisor (Elizabeth) is a speech-language pathologist there.  She is also the assistive technology (AT) coordinator for the district as well - so we will be doing some site visits periodically throughout the semester - to make sure our students have access the the technology they need, and that the technology is functioning as it is intended.

Anyway, we began the day with a tour of the building.  The building itself is an interesting design.  There are two levels, and the upper level is essentially a large circle with arms extending off on several sides.  The downstairs is less organized - I didn't get a good sense of a distinct shape.  I'll talk more about that later.  

Anyway, as we walked through the building we would see students and teachers in the halls.  Every time we meet a student Elizabeth would engage them in some form of communication.  (Which is good - especially because many of these children are poor functional communicators - they have a difficult time communicating everyday needs, let alone complex forms of communication like writing, recounting activities in days past, etc.).  We could not walk 15 steps without meeting another child.  (Croyden is not like your average school, obviously.  There is a great deal of structure, but it's in alternate forms than your typical school. We'll get to this later).

So, when Elizabeth and I finished the tour we went out to lunch with another SLP, Dan.  (The students call him Dan-Dan-the-Speech-Man, more about him later).  After lunch, we were supposed to go to an IEP meeting (Individualized Education Plan Meeting - a requirement for every student who needs 'special' services in schools).  The IEP got cancelled because someone was unable to be there - no one bothered to tell us, or the occupational therapist (OT), so you know. 

Anyway, all in all it was a good day.  I had few interactions with the kids; however, the ones I did have were quite funny.  For instance, there was a little girl, we'll call her Jill.  Jill was certainly my friend.  As soon as she noticed me she reached her hand out to grab mine.  I obliged, and started talking with her.  Unfortunately, she was not verbal (she didn't use words).  She pointed a lot, but it was difficult to understand her message.  

That was a little bit about my day - more to come.